I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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