wat bout pragnant strippers??
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
