I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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