Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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