Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
