I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
