Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
