Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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