so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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