Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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