What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
