I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
