I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
