Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
