Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
