I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
