Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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