it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
