I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
