i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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