I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize