Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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