he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
