Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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