READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
