I think im going to throw up on grandma
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
