yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
