You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
