Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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