I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
