he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize