i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
