thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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