she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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