I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
