I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
