I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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