My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
