I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
