my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
