Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
