we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
