Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
