HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
