Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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