yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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