every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
