You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
