Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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