So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
