I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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