You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
