can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
