pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
