Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
