you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
