brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
