So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
