Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
